25 Things I Thought I’d Have By 25…But I Don’t!

Date
Nov, 19, 2021
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Hey there! My name is Jazmine Harris, and I’m a 25 year old student who still lives with her parents, nice to meet you! (You can learn more about me in my “About” tab.) With everyone’s lives on display these days, I began to feel self-conscious about my own predicament. The life I thought I’d have by 25 and the life I actually have are quite different, and that’s okay. In fact, I want to show you what I had in mind, in hopes that you, too, can find comfort in whatever place you’re at in life. Let’s begin, shall we? I’ve broken all 25 things into categories. I also have a YouTube video about this if you’d rather watch instead of read!

Relationships

  1. A boyfriend
  2. A husband

Funnily enough, my 8th grade science teacher had us all write letters about what we expected for ourselves when we turned 25. In my letter, I expressed wanting a boyfriend with a “J-O-B” who can take care of himself, and my sentiments remain the same, lol. As for the husband… This was a timeline I curated for myself sometime in high school, when my future became more and more prevalent of a conversation. My imaginary timeline was:

  • Graduate College at 22
  • Get married by 25
  • Start having kids at around 27

I can now say that at 25 that none of these things have happened, and I’m glad. (I graduated college at 23, just incase anyone is confused.) My life is a positive mess, full of growing pains and potential, and I could not imagine throwing a significant other and a kid into the mix right this moment.

Education

  1. An English degree from NYU
  2. A dance minor from NYU
  3. An English degree from UNLV
  4. An English degree from UTA
  5. An MBA (masters in business admin.) from UTA

Spoiler: absolutely none of this happened. NYU was a high school dream, and dance has always been a love of mine. Seeing the 3rd Step-Up movie definitely added fuel to this fire. NYU never happened, but UNLV and UTA did– a side effect of growing up as a military brat. I did my freshman year at UNLV as an English major, then transferred to UTA for my sophomore year, also as an English major, and realized it wasn’t for me. I love creative writing–but English literature? Not so much. Instead, I graduated from UTA with a B.S. in Exercise Science!

The MBA is a very short story. I tried it, hated it after a month, and left! The end. I was so unhappy, actually, but this unhappiness fueled my determination to find something I liked. My problem was: I had told everyone about how I wanted to be a physical therapist and own my own clinic one day, and so even when I no longer wanted that, I felt like I had to fulfill my word. When I snapped out of that imaginary obligation, I ended up finding the master’s program I’m in, now! Which is also in the Kinesiology field.

Accomplishments & Assets

  1. A GT Shelby Mustang
  2. A house/apartment in LA
  3. A dance studio
  4. No debt
  5. 100,000 YouTube subscribers
  6. Successful social media
  7. A published novel

Where do I even begin with this list? 8, 9, and 10 were all things that I’d written in my letter from 8th grade, none of which truly appeal to me anymore. I was definitely in a “dreamer” phase, but as I’ve grown and matured, those dreams have changed, naturally. 11 thru 15, on the other hand, are things I still wish for and am actively pursuing. It’s been a long journey, but I’m making progress, nonetheless! I don’t have a fantasy success story of how I blew up on the internet and all my dreams suddenly came true (yet). I would love to have that experience, but at the same time, I’ve gained valuable insight and amazing skills by having persevered for this long. I now feel that I’m building the maturity that this level of success would require, and I’m thankful to God for that.

Money/Career

  1. A job
  2. A Singing career
  3. A choreography career
  4. 3 sources of income

By now you’ve probably guessed that the singing and choreography careers were things I wrote in 8th grade… and you have guessed correctly. First of all, I– I can’t even sing so I don’t know why that was an aspiration. A dream was truly the farthest that would EVER go, lol. Choreography is understandable because I love dancing, it’s just not something I had enough of a passion for to take a chance with. The job…. well that was under the presumption that after graduating college I would find employment, but wouldn’t it turn out that the job I want requires a master’s degree. Of course it does. Now, I could work while in school, but I’m blessed to receive enough financial aid to not do so, as well as the support of my parents, and I’m grateful.

I don’t have 3 streams of income, yet, but I recently acquired ONE! Yes, I’ve finally achieved monetization on my YouTube channel, and I’m so excited! Granted, I’m not making a lot of money yet, but it’s one stream nonetheless.

Body Image, Health, & Identity

  1. A life without depression
  2. A C-Cup
  3. Long hair
  4. A workout habit
  5. A cooking habit
  6. Confidence in my purpose
  7. Confidence in my identity

This final portion of my list is a heavy hitter in some respects. I’ve struggled with depression at some capacity since I was 16, but I can happily say that over the last year and really the last few weeks I’ve been making positive realizations and good progress in terms of handling my mental health and healing. Working out and cooking more are physical aspects of my health that I’m trying to incorporate into my life to also benefit my mental health. I think developing routines is easy, but making habit out of doing those routines is what I’m still working on.

Moving onto something more lighthearted, I thought I would have bigger boobs. For some reason my mom’s height was passed along with no issue, and the part where I got boobs didn’t get the memo. Joking aside, I love my frame. I just thought this was a funny aspiration I had growing up, as If I could control exactly how much they grew, or didn’t.

I want to leave off with something encouraging about identity and purpose. We as people change, and that makes it hard to always know who you are– especially when we attach our identity to what we do, that’s why I recommend everyone find a foundational identity in Christ, because He is the same yesterday, today, and always. With Him, you’ll always have a firm foundation in who you are even if your occupation, interests, likes, and dislikes evolve.

As for purpose, I remember seeing a video on the internet, or maybe it was a twitter screenshot, I can’t remember, of someone suggesting that our purpose finds us, and I love that idea. We put so much stress on “finding our purpose,” but what if it’s supposed to come to us? In fact, in the Bible, there’s plenty of instances where God approaches someone and gives them an assignment, a purpose. Before God approached those individuals, they lived life according to what was in front of them and made the best of it. One could argue that living life to the best of their ability WAS their purpose. King David was a shepherd until he was told he would be king, and he got really good at being a shepherd, so much so, that when his purpose found him, the skills he acquired from being a shepherd became of much use as he carried out his God-given purpose. So, if you’re struggling to find your purpose, maybe take a step back, handle what today brings, and perhaps your purpose will approach you. Perhaps you’re already living it and you’ve yet to realize it.

That was my list of things that haven’t happened in my life. I hope it makes you feel better about yours. If you have any similar items on your list, feel free to comment them on this post. I’d love to hear from you!

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